Yesterday was an average day and night for me.
My beautiful and wonderful friend Wendy Jo came to me with great news that she had a second call back for a series guest role on a major cable network. I had my own great news. I had received a call from my doctor's office and was informed I do not have any STD's. That's right. Clean as a whistle. Not that I was too worried, but I did start a rough draft of my will. I offered to take the doctor's assistant out for drinks to celebrate but she declined.
My dear friend Karith updated her facebook status and it caught my eye. It had been forever since I had seen my Karith. She co-hosts a very high-profile national radio show. We haven't had much time to spend together since her hours are now pretty much the dead opposite of mine. I miss her. So I asked her if she'd stay up late to do my show at Eastville. I had time on the lineup and I was honestly craving her much like I do a cigarette twenty times a day. (That's a pack a day.)
My buddy Danny Siegel hosted the show last night. I love Danny. He is very funny. He is very universal. He is very good looking. He is very straight. And kind of a pig but I appreciate that in him. We can relate. My friend Jodi Wasserman, who I think in time will become one of my fave gal pals, we're new to each other, headlined. She's mildly insane.
Karith was her usual radiant vibrant self. Beautiful spirit. Was so good to see her onstage again. She had to leave after her set to go to bed. I walked her out and didn't want to see her go. I wanted to cling to her like the Titanic. It wasn't enough time. We made tentative and well-intentioned plans for sangria and/or pinkberry but you know how those plans go. You get busy, or you get a gig or it rains or you oversleep. But she is a life friend for sure.
I got to stretch out onstage. Re-worked some oldies, worked out some newbies. Leah had a great set, she's been focusing on flexing her performance muscles and it shows. Everyone had a great set. No one clunked. I told Jodi to get there by 9:00. She came in and sat at the bar until it was her time.
Jodi went on and I had my first opportunity to step outside for a smoke. I found Leah waiting outside of the club. I told her I don't have AIDS. She high-fived me and told me she was dating a girl who worked for AIDS Walk. This was news to me but Leah and I have not connected in awhile. I was thrilled for her. She told me they met on Saturday. Last night was Wednesday. That is a four day timespan. Which is a completely reasonable timeline for the Lesbian race.
Jodi, who has a million TV credits killed. No surprise. That's why she was booked. After the show and after the goodbyes and thank you for comings, Garry (another comic who also did well) and Leah invited Jodi and I out with them to Nowhere Bar. I wanted to go, I wanted to drink more, I wanted to laugh at silly things and take drunken photos to tag on facebook the next morning, but I could see a flash of wild in Jodi's eye. I suddenly felt like Jodi's chaperone and felt that she needed me. So I told Garry and Leah we'd meet up with them in a bit. I was right about what I saw in Jodi's eye. I've got a good gut about things that rarely will let me down. Jodi indeed had another agenda.
Jodi likes to smoke pot as much as I like to drink. Jodi was out of pot last night and remembered a conversation we had over six months ago that I had some pot in my freezer. I guess I wouldn't forget if someone told me they had a pallet of Marlboro Lights in their attic. The pot in my freezer was a housewarming gift for my ex-boyfriend and I three apartments and six years ago. And the housewarming gift has since traveled from apartment to apartment to apartment, each time taking its rightful place in the freezer under the ice-cube tray that is always filled up when we would move in and never emptied until we moved out. Since my boyfriend and I are no longer (no worries we're still the very best of friends - family. We talk 3X/day and share everything.) I have moved out but the housewarming gift did not. At this point, that housewarming gift probably tastes like Gorton's fish sticks. Jodi didn't care. She was ready for it - freezer burned and all.
I put myself in Jodi's shoes. What if I couldn't buy cigarettes? What if I was back in New Mexico and couldn't buy a drink on a Sunday? I still have keys to my old apartment and my ex-boyfriend wouldn't care if I regifted our housewarming present from three apartments ago. But it was getting late and I didn't want to travel all the way from the East Village to the Upper Upper West Side. Jodi would have to seek another form of comfort. So we decided to go eat.
We decided a diner would be the best option. Jodi wanted to go to a diner in Astoria. We both live in Astoria so that sounded like a good plan. She then had the great idea to stop and get a Mr. Softee ice cream to enjoy on the subway trek to Queens. Even better. Then I learned the diner in Astoria was on the Astoria Blvd stop. Two stops beyond my stop. Which meant that I would have to get back on the train after the diner. And she would just be able to walk home without another subway ride. Very manipulative she is. So I put my foot down and said no. We would have to find a diner in the East Village and then we'd take the train home to Astoria and get off at our own stops. She agreed. But only on the condition that we could get Mr. Softee after the diner for the subway ride home to Queens. Agreed.
I held the door open for Jodi. She likes to be treated like a lady. And I like that she likes to be a lady. She's always in heels and in full hair and makeup. I ordered a grilled cheese on wheat, she ordered eggs. When she got the eggs she complained that they didn't bring soup. I told her she did not order soup. She argued that she did. Lack of pot was making Jodi hallucinate things. I can relate. I slur when I don't drink. She agreed that Danny Siegel is hot. I texted him and asked him if he had any pot for Jodi. He did not. But told us to go to see the doorman at the Bowery Hotel. Jodi considered. And I would have gone with her to protect her. But she felt it was too much work. (But traveling an hour and a half each way to the Upper Upper West side was not.) She then told me she wanted to quit comedy but then suggested we plan a national tour. She noticed Leah had a new girl. Women pick up on those things. She told me pets do not stink, humans do. And that its okay to ask your Mother for money. And that you have to constantly hustle in this business. And to stop wasting time on guys who aren't into you. And where is her soup?
We paid our bill and left. Jodi did not forget our agreement on Mr. Softee. But Mr. Softee had driven away. She had switched her focus from pot to soft serve. We saw golden arches a few blocks ahead of us. But McDonald's was closed. Then we found a Ben and Jerry's. It was hoppin' after midnight. We got our ice-cream and walked silently to the subway back to Astoria. We finished before the N train came. So we started talking again. She was showing off her new i-phone. She killed the other night at a comedy club and a fan bought it for her. I didn't ask.
We were comparing my blackberry versus her i-phone when suddenly we both pulled our phones away from each other in the same knee-jerk fashion. We gave each other knowing glances. I knew the she had / and she knew that I had, nude photos of ourselves in our phones. She offered to show me her tits. Via i-phone. Now, Jodi is an attractive gal. But I didn't want to see her tits. Maybe after a night of tequila, or if we were at Mardi Gras and prizes were involved I would be game. I declined. I turned away. Then turned back to her and found her tits in my face via i-Phone. They were nice. I was surprised. Not that Jodi could have nice tits, but I've been let down before in pretty girls. The most attractive girl can reveal themselves to be something out of National Geographic. Jodi had perfect tits and she was proud of them. I was proud for her. I felt obligated and kind of wanted to show her photos of myself. But I resisted the urge. Again. No tequila was consumed this evening. Maybe next time.
The N Train arrived. She charged through the doors and knocked a couple of guys out of the way so that we could share a bench. We decided to take a photo shoot together with her i-phone to pass the time. The photos were terrible. With the fluorescent lighting and the high-def settings on her i-phone, one photo after another was promptly deleted. One was decent. I agreed we'd spare it from the trash. It would be a memento of our time together. She'd tag me on facebook the next day.
I got off on the Broadway stop. Jodi would get off two stops later. Near the originally proposed diner. It was not a crazy wild evening. Nothing eventful really happened but it did. Jodi is an amazing woman and an amazing artist. We'll probably do a show again together in the very near future and we may or may not hang out after. That's the way it goes in this crazy world. But I am grateful for last night.
My beautiful and wonderful friend Wendy Jo came to me with great news that she had a second call back for a series guest role on a major cable network. I had my own great news. I had received a call from my doctor's office and was informed I do not have any STD's. That's right. Clean as a whistle. Not that I was too worried, but I did start a rough draft of my will. I offered to take the doctor's assistant out for drinks to celebrate but she declined.
My dear friend Karith updated her facebook status and it caught my eye. It had been forever since I had seen my Karith. She co-hosts a very high-profile national radio show. We haven't had much time to spend together since her hours are now pretty much the dead opposite of mine. I miss her. So I asked her if she'd stay up late to do my show at Eastville. I had time on the lineup and I was honestly craving her much like I do a cigarette twenty times a day. (That's a pack a day.)
My buddy Danny Siegel hosted the show last night. I love Danny. He is very funny. He is very universal. He is very good looking. He is very straight. And kind of a pig but I appreciate that in him. We can relate. My friend Jodi Wasserman, who I think in time will become one of my fave gal pals, we're new to each other, headlined. She's mildly insane.
Karith was her usual radiant vibrant self. Beautiful spirit. Was so good to see her onstage again. She had to leave after her set to go to bed. I walked her out and didn't want to see her go. I wanted to cling to her like the Titanic. It wasn't enough time. We made tentative and well-intentioned plans for sangria and/or pinkberry but you know how those plans go. You get busy, or you get a gig or it rains or you oversleep. But she is a life friend for sure.
I got to stretch out onstage. Re-worked some oldies, worked out some newbies. Leah had a great set, she's been focusing on flexing her performance muscles and it shows. Everyone had a great set. No one clunked. I told Jodi to get there by 9:00. She came in and sat at the bar until it was her time.
Jodi went on and I had my first opportunity to step outside for a smoke. I found Leah waiting outside of the club. I told her I don't have AIDS. She high-fived me and told me she was dating a girl who worked for AIDS Walk. This was news to me but Leah and I have not connected in awhile. I was thrilled for her. She told me they met on Saturday. Last night was Wednesday. That is a four day timespan. Which is a completely reasonable timeline for the Lesbian race.
Jodi, who has a million TV credits killed. No surprise. That's why she was booked. After the show and after the goodbyes and thank you for comings, Garry (another comic who also did well) and Leah invited Jodi and I out with them to Nowhere Bar. I wanted to go, I wanted to drink more, I wanted to laugh at silly things and take drunken photos to tag on facebook the next morning, but I could see a flash of wild in Jodi's eye. I suddenly felt like Jodi's chaperone and felt that she needed me. So I told Garry and Leah we'd meet up with them in a bit. I was right about what I saw in Jodi's eye. I've got a good gut about things that rarely will let me down. Jodi indeed had another agenda.
Jodi likes to smoke pot as much as I like to drink. Jodi was out of pot last night and remembered a conversation we had over six months ago that I had some pot in my freezer. I guess I wouldn't forget if someone told me they had a pallet of Marlboro Lights in their attic. The pot in my freezer was a housewarming gift for my ex-boyfriend and I three apartments and six years ago. And the housewarming gift has since traveled from apartment to apartment to apartment, each time taking its rightful place in the freezer under the ice-cube tray that is always filled up when we would move in and never emptied until we moved out. Since my boyfriend and I are no longer (no worries we're still the very best of friends - family. We talk 3X/day and share everything.) I have moved out but the housewarming gift did not. At this point, that housewarming gift probably tastes like Gorton's fish sticks. Jodi didn't care. She was ready for it - freezer burned and all.
I put myself in Jodi's shoes. What if I couldn't buy cigarettes? What if I was back in New Mexico and couldn't buy a drink on a Sunday? I still have keys to my old apartment and my ex-boyfriend wouldn't care if I regifted our housewarming present from three apartments ago. But it was getting late and I didn't want to travel all the way from the East Village to the Upper Upper West Side. Jodi would have to seek another form of comfort. So we decided to go eat.
We decided a diner would be the best option. Jodi wanted to go to a diner in Astoria. We both live in Astoria so that sounded like a good plan. She then had the great idea to stop and get a Mr. Softee ice cream to enjoy on the subway trek to Queens. Even better. Then I learned the diner in Astoria was on the Astoria Blvd stop. Two stops beyond my stop. Which meant that I would have to get back on the train after the diner. And she would just be able to walk home without another subway ride. Very manipulative she is. So I put my foot down and said no. We would have to find a diner in the East Village and then we'd take the train home to Astoria and get off at our own stops. She agreed. But only on the condition that we could get Mr. Softee after the diner for the subway ride home to Queens. Agreed.
I held the door open for Jodi. She likes to be treated like a lady. And I like that she likes to be a lady. She's always in heels and in full hair and makeup. I ordered a grilled cheese on wheat, she ordered eggs. When she got the eggs she complained that they didn't bring soup. I told her she did not order soup. She argued that she did. Lack of pot was making Jodi hallucinate things. I can relate. I slur when I don't drink. She agreed that Danny Siegel is hot. I texted him and asked him if he had any pot for Jodi. He did not. But told us to go to see the doorman at the Bowery Hotel. Jodi considered. And I would have gone with her to protect her. But she felt it was too much work. (But traveling an hour and a half each way to the Upper Upper West side was not.) She then told me she wanted to quit comedy but then suggested we plan a national tour. She noticed Leah had a new girl. Women pick up on those things. She told me pets do not stink, humans do. And that its okay to ask your Mother for money. And that you have to constantly hustle in this business. And to stop wasting time on guys who aren't into you. And where is her soup?
We paid our bill and left. Jodi did not forget our agreement on Mr. Softee. But Mr. Softee had driven away. She had switched her focus from pot to soft serve. We saw golden arches a few blocks ahead of us. But McDonald's was closed. Then we found a Ben and Jerry's. It was hoppin' after midnight. We got our ice-cream and walked silently to the subway back to Astoria. We finished before the N train came. So we started talking again. She was showing off her new i-phone. She killed the other night at a comedy club and a fan bought it for her. I didn't ask.
We were comparing my blackberry versus her i-phone when suddenly we both pulled our phones away from each other in the same knee-jerk fashion. We gave each other knowing glances. I knew the she had / and she knew that I had, nude photos of ourselves in our phones. She offered to show me her tits. Via i-phone. Now, Jodi is an attractive gal. But I didn't want to see her tits. Maybe after a night of tequila, or if we were at Mardi Gras and prizes were involved I would be game. I declined. I turned away. Then turned back to her and found her tits in my face via i-Phone. They were nice. I was surprised. Not that Jodi could have nice tits, but I've been let down before in pretty girls. The most attractive girl can reveal themselves to be something out of National Geographic. Jodi had perfect tits and she was proud of them. I was proud for her. I felt obligated and kind of wanted to show her photos of myself. But I resisted the urge. Again. No tequila was consumed this evening. Maybe next time.
The N Train arrived. She charged through the doors and knocked a couple of guys out of the way so that we could share a bench. We decided to take a photo shoot together with her i-phone to pass the time. The photos were terrible. With the fluorescent lighting and the high-def settings on her i-phone, one photo after another was promptly deleted. One was decent. I agreed we'd spare it from the trash. It would be a memento of our time together. She'd tag me on facebook the next day.
I got off on the Broadway stop. Jodi would get off two stops later. Near the originally proposed diner. It was not a crazy wild evening. Nothing eventful really happened but it did. Jodi is an amazing woman and an amazing artist. We'll probably do a show again together in the very near future and we may or may not hang out after. That's the way it goes in this crazy world. But I am grateful for last night.
