I can smell a smoker a mile away...

Oh Dolls,

Where do I begin? I’ll tell you where. Right here: I am now four weeks non-smoking. That is a month! Yes you heard it, but can you believe it? And just today, I was in my favorite wine store, Bacchus on 70th and Broadway, with Sandy Stec and a very handsome sommelier was chatting and flirting with us. Okay, he was flirting with me and not Sandy, but guess what? He was gesturing with his hands and as they moved in expression, I caught a gentle hint of cigarette emanating from those talkative hands as they grazed my airspace. Yes. Danny Leary can now smell a smoker. And that is because he is no longer a smoker. Was it a turnoff to me? Not completely. The thought of making out with a smoker makes me think “well he’d probably taste like cigarettes… so I bet its probably like smoking a cigarette again but without the actual smoke or nicotine….” Which is just gross. And I am embarrassed to admit that, but I own it and am not going to apologize for my thoughts. In any case, I don’t plan on vicariously smoking via making out with a smoker anytime soon as I have recently decided that I am married to England. And by England I mean me.

Honestly. I can’t think of love or even dating or anything like that right now. I am too focused on the WORK right now! What work am I speaking of? Only the best goddamned show in town that starts on July 29. But I am not going to talk about that right now for the simple reason that I am living and breathing my upcoming show at the moment. There is so much planning, so much rehearsing, so much coordinating, that this long overdue blog entry is actually a vacation away from my upcoming show. I’ll be telling you a lot about it and you’ll be sick of hearing about it so lets move on for now to other topics.

First let’s talk about Sandy Stec. The gal pal who went to the wine store with me today. She’s from San Francisco, a fellow comedian, a Bay Area radio DJ and I really love her. I’d marry her if I could. But I can’t because that is not how things are, so we’ll always be lifelong friends. Sandy was in for just one day so I joined her, Susan Alexander and Gisele Noel at Rosa Mexicano for “brunch” this morning. I say “brunch” because there were no eggs on the brunch menu. Without eggs its just lunch. It’s a great place to eat at night, but do not go there during the day, they aren’t busy and as result the servers stand around and openly ogle at your gal pals breasts and they also somehow feel above the women diners even though they are the servers. It’s such a machismo culture. I say this as a fellow Mexican American that Mexican men are not really gentlemen when it comes to women. At least at Rosa Mexicano they are not. And that irritates me. If it weren’t for the fabulous diving men / water fall art installation that greets you when you come in, then I’d call for a boycott. But that is really a beautiful piece of art. So you’re safe Rosa Mexicano. For now.

Years ago, when I was performing sketch comedy with the original cast of Drop Six, my dear friend and cast mate Rodney Umble brought a shoofly pie back from home for the group. Rodney is from Lancaster County, PA, home of America’s Amish people, and shoofly pie is an amazing Amish dessert. I had never had shoofly pie before. Let’s just say the shoofly pie never made it from my home to rehearsal. And the rest of the cast of Drop Six never got to taste shoofly pie because I tasted the whole pie for them. I told this story to Susan Alexander who traveled to that part of PA over the weekend and she brought back a shoofly pie for me. Sandy, Susan, Gisele and I ate the whole damn pie after Rosa’s and washed it down with a bottle of Presecco that had been recommended to us by the cigarette smelling hands of the cute sommelier that I will not be making out with as I am married to England, AKA me. HA.

I did text Rodney today to let him know that I was enjoying shoofly pie. I am positive Rodney is sleeping better tonight knowing this.

Let’s talk about another kind of food. Food for the soul. Dolls. Went to see “Next Fall” with my dear friend Judith Greentree. There is something about seeing a play on Broadway. I love the musicals. But they have an advantage over the plays. Music grabs on to you. To be able to carry a theatre full of 1000+ people with a story, with mere text, takes tremendous talent from the playwright, the director, the actor and then it takes trust from the audience to connect and allow themselves to go on the journey together. And when this happens it is like nothing else in this world. My soul cried after this experience. It was literally church for my soul. And I felt so blessed to experience it. Art is so important. And it just amazes me that we do not invest in it more as a society. Art is humanity. Speaking of amazing art. Next to Normal. Alice Ripley leaves July 18. If you are in New York. Go, go go go go. Don’t be foolish. Go see her in this role. This is a historical performance that will be talked about forever. She is amazing in this. It’s a new generation Patti LuPone/EVITA. Where the right actress and the right part come together to create lightening. This rarely happens. Go.

Off my weird soap box for now. Let’s talk about something fun. Like this summer. I am having such a kick ass summer. Are you? I am having the best time just being around some of my dear friends. I have been running again in Central Park with my new increased lung capacity. And have been brunching with bitches. I have been buying gifts for my shih-tzu and wrapping them in wrapping paper as he likes to open presents as much as receive. I have been drinking on roof decks and balconies. Drinking iced tea, eating streat meat, basking in sun, riding bikes, paddling canoes, eating whole grains and even ice cream because you have to let the hair down somewhere. And am working my ass off on my new show. Save the date for July 29. I am working with the most talented people in town. I am working with a dream cast and am blessed. You gotta see this. Okay. Thank you. I love you. I’ll write more later. Gotta go to bed.

Wait. Back up a paragraph. Let me just say this and then I’ll go to bed. Patti LuPone. Next season, a revival of EVITA and a revival of Anyting Goes are planned. The actress in EVITA did the recent London revival. I’m sure she’s a nice gal, she's even a real Argentine, but she can’t hold a candle to Patti. No one can in that role. (or any other role Patti does to be honest.) I hope it flops because I just don’t think ALW gets it. He f*cked up with Sunset, has never apologized, and now he is going to come over here with this new revival and think we're going to get on board with it? Go f*ck yourself ALW. EVITA was only successful over here because of Patti. Your score doesn't stand alone without her singing it. It's an amazing score when she is singing the role, when she is not singing the role it sounds silly. And also this is America. We got Patti. She is ours. And we are very protective of her. Who do you have? Elaine Paige. Ugh. Please. Listen, I’m sure she’s nice too, she's innocent, but she’s just vanilla ice cream, and Patti… well our Patti is a nice, spicy, rich spumoni gelato. And Anything Goes? I’m just annoyed by this revival. Are you?? I don't think we have the resources yet to revive this one.Tell me I am not alone here. I'm also very biased. But I also have amazing taste. HA!

Now I am not going to be able to sleep. Jesus. Goodnight.

Love
Danny

STEALING TIHNGS AND BITING PEOPLE

Hi Dolls!

I am back from sunny Los Angeles and loving sunny New York!

LA was so much fun. I flew United. I love flying United because they play Gershwin’s thrilling symphony “Rhapsody in Blue” constantly and really, nothing is bad when “Rhapsody in Blue” is playing constantly. The plane could be crashing and as long as they’re still playing “Rhapsody in Blue”… I am down to go down!

Thrilling show at The Hollywood Improv. LA Comedians are so nice and LA CLUBS are nice! The staff bought me a drink after my set simply because they thought “I was a great comedian.” That doesn’t happen in New York. It’s a friendlier scene in LA for sure. But I think there is something to be said for cutting your teeth in New York. ‘Cuz New York is all hard knocks and it makes you strong.

Met Daniel Leary. The other one. What a doll. It felt like meeting your twin that you never knew existed until one day they needed your kidney. We shared a cigarette and some one-on-one convo after the show and hit it off and vowed to do a creative project together. I am thinking a revival of Sideshow. Or Debbie Does Dallas.

Incidentally that cigarette with Daniel was the last cigarette I had. That’s right. This Danny is now a non-smoking mother fucker. I’d been having headaches and they were so bad, at one point I found myself in tense negotiations with God. Agreeing to substitute donuts for real food and regular coke for real water. And to also… stop smoking.. if he’d take away the damn headaches! You know when you’re in legal talks with God, things are not good. Fast forward to one week later (today) and…. Smoke free, eating right, hydrated and I am already experiencing BOUNDLESS ENERGY!! Stay tuned for an announcement that I will be starring in a remake of Jane Fonda’s debut workout and will be releasing it on DVD!

Wednesday met up with Ann Design for drinks. I’ve blogged about her before on here. Ann is such a character and a real lush. She looks like “Blondie” from the comic strip. Dimples and big, blue innocent eyes. She’s a throwback to the 1950’s. After 12 vodka’s we found ourselves at Julius Bar having hamburgers at midnight. She sent a facebook message to a mutual friend and comedian Erin Foley in LA. Now here is why I love Ann. She writes…

“Erin…. With Danny Leary and we are…..”

Now she’s fumbling with what to say… and I suggested she say “we are having a GAS!” Without even flinching says “oh good one!” and types to Erin:

“With Danny Leary AND WE ARE HAVING A GAS!”

As if that expression is widely used vernacular. Anyone else would have objected to typing that, but not Ann. To Ann, that expression made sense. And that is why she is one badass gal.

Thursday met up with a wonderful comedian/actress friend of mine for dinner. She just had a major show and is feeling the post performance blues. She’s upset because Hollywood still hasn’t called and its now three days after her big show. We all get like this and we all need good friends to talk us out of the tree. Lord knows she has done this for me every other day for the past decade. I reminded her of Kathy Griffin who didn’t “break break’ (meaning really make it big) until she was 40. Kathy had been going at it since she was 20. How do I know all this about Kathy Griffin? Oh because I stole her book.

Don’t judge me. Here’s what happened. I had a 6 AM flight from LAX to JFK. In the cab to the airport, while negotiating my health with God, he told me to read Kathy Griffin’s book. So off I went roaming the airport to BUY her book. Now the only thing open at 6 AM in LAX were the Hudson Booksellers. Anyone who travels will tell you they are the worst book chain. Zero selection. Well, if you like memoirs from the likes of Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and blah blah then that’s your store. They didn’t have Kathy Griffin’s book. The only other bookstore in the terminal was closed…. OR SO I THOUGHT…

I saw another homosexual male in his thirties come out of that bookstore. The gate was down but apparently the glass door was unlocked. So I went in just as he was leaving. He said to me “no one is in there…..” and I said “but YOU were just in there….” So I went in there. Saw a stack of Kathy Griffin books. Heard voices in the stock room. Picked up one of Kathy’s books. Put it in my bag. Walked to the back of the store and shouted “hello?????” They (whoever they may be) shouted back “we’re not open for another hour….” And I said “so I can’t BUY something right now???” and they said “NOOOOOO…..” – So I left with the book. I TRIED. I’m sorry Kathy G if you are reading this. I TRIED!

Well it’s a great book in case you are all wondering, I can see why I was told to read it during devine intervention and I highly recommend it. But pay for it. Now, I am not ashamed and stand by my illegal decision to steal her book as it was a special circumstance. But artists really should be compensated. So I will mail Kathy a twenty at some point soon in 2010.

Friday had a party at the 79th Street Boat Basin down by the river. Friends and drinking make a delightful Friday. Jenny Rubin came and 10 margaritas later she had a show to get to. It was my friend Paul Case's show. Jenny and I were broke and when we discovered I was out of money and that they would not accept her PathMark Advantage Card (a local NYC grocery store frequent shoppers discount card) we knew we needed a plan. We texted Paul and advised him to keep a card open for us so we could continue to eat and drink on his dime when we got to the club. Well wouldn’t you know it, Paul said no. Selfish sonofabitch. It was a train wreck of a night. I did a set. I wasn’t scheduled to. Had I been scheduled to appear I never would have been drinking. I don’t like to drink before I perform. But this was one of those nights where life felt like a circus. Leah Dubie performed. At her request I interpreted her stand-up set in ASL (sign language) for the many (zero) deaf audience members in attendance. I don’t really know sign language or Spanish but I can fake both languages very well.

Saturday was Amy Hair’s bday party. She had a karaoke party. Of course I behaved badly and bit one of her friends. But at least they were treated to my thrilling rendition of “Sister Christian.”

Two shows tonight. Gotta DVR those TONY’s.

Love,

Danny

My Mom: It's Not A Mole, It's a BEAUTY MARK!

Oh Dolls!

Had a great day today! Spoke to my good friend Josh Dixon who told me he's recorded two new songs! Listen here. Also spoke to my gal pal Bonnie Marsh about stretching! And then........did my favorite New York summer activity in the world: I went bike riding in Central Park! My goodness. This is some of the most fun to be had in the city. I'm warning you, its more tough than it seems. In the lower half of the park you dodge a million pedestrians, horses, runners, pedicabs and strollers and almost everyone of these obstacles aren't aware that there are bicycle riders zooming past them at great speed. You could really get hurt and hurt someone else if you are not aware and proactive. A few times I had to yell "left" or "right" to avoid a collision, which would have been more effective if I knew my left from my right (in the heat of the moment its easy to get mixed up), I successfully avoided tragedy. The REAL fun, however, is at the top part of the park where there are steep hills. I swear at the very North part of the park, you are literally pumping your legs in slow motion for what feels like an hour before you gloriously descend a winding path at a speed of what feels like 90 MPH. The wind gushes through your hair, you feel victorious for having made it to the other side of the hill and your legs are burning and you almost want to take your hands off of the handlebars and point them to the sky in an EVITA formation and then wave at the descamisados that you are flying by. Or at least that is the way I feel.

I thought of my Mom today. I think of her everyday, but today I really missed her. One of my favorite times ever with my Mother was the last time she visited New York and I took her bike riding in the park. My mother likes athletic activities and enjoys a good adrenaline rush like I do and I knew she would find my favorite New York activity just as enjoyable as I did. And I was correct, she did! That was a great moment we had together. So just as I am nostalgic for my mother, the most BIZARRE THING IN THE WORLD HAPPENED. I returned my rented bike (because really, unless New Yorkers have a "bike room" in their building, or a spare room to store their bike in, we don't hang bicycles from the ceiling like Jerry Seinfeld did in his sitcom. We rent bikes by the hour) to W. 57th Street. And went to use the restroom in the Time Warner Center. That magical place where they have all of my favorite stores. Well, I went into Borders Book Store. I randomly picked up a travel guide for New Mexico. Most of you know that is my home state. I flipped through it, somehow became interested in the section that covered the Taos area, where my mother owns a cabin.... and low and behold... there was a photograph of shoppers in a Taos market... and the woman shopping in the photo... WAS MY MOTHER! It was unmistakable. The black sunglasses with the gold ornamentation on the side, the facial expression, the mole next to her mouth and the mole directly above the mole next to her mouth. (Now my mother would hate that I am describing her as having moles.... she has always insisted to me that moles do not exist. BEAUTY MARKS exist!) My mother is a stunning woman. And here she was in a book. So I called her and told her. Also in the background was my Aunt Francis from Roswell, NM. My mother asked what her hair looked like. I described it, she confirmed that yes her hair was long when she had taken Francis to her cabin which was shortly after the death of my grandmother, Mary Salinas Rivera, and that she and Francis did come down the mountain to go shopping in Taos! And I had just been thinking of my momma while bike riding an hour or so earlier! It felt like a big hug from God.

Having this memories of my Mother and seeing her in the book came at a good time. I've been seeing ads for Father's Day lately and have instinctively been getting excited about finding the coolest present for my Father this year. My father passed away over four years ago. And for some reason, lately, I keep forgetting that and keep wanting to call him. But I still have my momma and I am so thankful for that and I feel like this moment today was God's way of reminding me that I am not alone. Not that I feel alone, but there's something about the absence of a parent who has passed away and the void that it leaves that always hurts. But I still have my Momma and thank God for that.

Speaking of parents. I've been fortunate to get to spend this holiday weekend with my son. Yes, my son. My shih-tzu, Cosmo Jones. I've told you that Jeremy and I were partners for 8.5/9 years and along the way of our beautiful time together we acquired the best little baby in the world, a rescued Shih Tzu. Jeremy flew to Mexico for his brother's wedding so I am staying here at his (our old) apartment housesitting and babysitting my baby. I can't tell you how good it feels to be woken up by the sound of his grrrrrring and his scratching at the bed. Cosmo is very bossy with me. And I love it. He is such a BRAT! Today, on his morning walk, he would only walk SOUTH! Refused to go North, West, Left, Right, he was only interested in walking toward the direction of downtown. Now Cosmo is only 14 pounds and can't go for more than 10 blocks without getting EXHAUSTED. Especially in the summer heat! So you know what this means, if he only would walk South.... I had to carry him home, which was in the direction of NORTH the whole way back. 14 pounds of fur in 95+ heat in New York City for ten blocks isn't as easy as you think. But I'd carry that little muffin 1,000 blocks in any weather if he wanted me to. He is my little angel! We're going to be starring in a revival of Sideshow together. HA.

Last night I performed on "The Backroom" at Comix. Got to try out some new material and new edits to some hold hits. After the show went with Paul Case, David Hodorowski and Adam Sank to The Duplex. Adam sang at the piano and proceeded to do a comedy set mid-song, while being underscored by the pianist, and ended with the final phrase of the song in the piano bar. It was riveting. I was inspired and moved to tears. I said to Adam after... "THAT is your one man show." I've always thought Adam was talented but I saw something especially extraordinary in him last night. Something untapped. Gold. Adam is really a great guy and has been a good friend to me. Last night I fell in love with his talent. And I think we will be great friends and I sincerely wish big things for him and believe they will happen for him.

By the way, why is Vodka so delicious in the summer? I had a few last night and found myself literally meowing at the cab driver who took me home last night. Well it made a lot of sense to me at the time and was not at all unusual. And I stand by the meowing still today. Remember I said in an earlier post: me 24/7. Well sometimes that involves behaving like a feline.

Gotta go dolls. I've got material to write. So excited to perform in LA. And also for Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, the Matterhorn, It's a Small World, The Haunted Mansion, The Pirates of the Caribbean and my alma mater, The Jungle Cruise and The Enchanted Tiki Room. Yes. I as a Jungle Cruise skipper and the host of the Tiki room once upon a time. As other famous comedians like Steve Martin were before me. HA.

Here's where I rented the bike today:
http://www.centralpark-newyorkcity.com/

At $20/3 hours you can't beat it. Also that comes with a helmet and a bike lock. Be sure to ask for these things though because they seem to prefer that you forget and don't ask. But its best to protect your brain, after all this is New York City and its perfectly feasible to fly over your handle bars and get trampled by a tap dancing Broadway chorus. Wear a helmet. And you'll want a lock to chain your bike when you stop at the Shake Shack mid ride for one of the best hamburgers in the city and a peanut butter concrete (fancy gourmet term for shake.) Why a peanut butter shake? Because I am from Portales, NM, the peanut capital of the world, and that's how we roll. And if you're recalling that I said I am dieting and you're wondering why I am eating hamburgers and peanut butter concrete/shakes... well.... leave me alone.

Info on the Shake Shack:
http://www.shakeshacknyc.com/

Love,
Danny

P.S. I was in a rush and had to get to The Drama Book Shop to purchase a script before they closed and didn't have time to buy the New Mexico travel book featuring... my mother! But I will buy in the next few days and will be sure to post that photo of her as soon as possible.

THE SOUNDTRACK IN MY HEAD

Oh, Dolls!

I am so excited to head off to Los Angeles next week! I'll be performing at the Hollywood Improv on June 2nd! If you are near anywhere in Los Angeles come see me and be sure to say "hello" after!

I'm in quite a celebratory mood as of late. Here are some of the main reasons:

1. I'm going to LA! Sun! Disneyland! Friends from College! Joan Crawford! Hollywood! Ocean!
2. My gal Alicia Levy knocked it out of the park last night at Ars Nova! Expect to see her on SNL. You heard it here first.
3. I'm going into the recording studio soon with hip hop, R&B, and rap master "Black E" from Fah-Q records to cut my first R&B single. HA! I am not joking. He is a genius and it is going to be incredible!
4. I've been working on my vision board, its not even done, and things are already manifesting!
5. Summer drinking! This is the season for friends and sun and I've got some good drinkin' commitments lined up with my fave pals. Thank you Jane for the delicious drink recipe! I'll let you know how it turns out! The graphic accompanying this post is for a party Carrie Gravenson and I are having later this summer at the Boat Basin in Riverside Park.

So I told you in my last post that I'm going to be living as my full and authentic self 24/7 and I am turning up the volume! I thought I should share a bit with you of what has lived in my head for years and some of what is playing in my head right now. I've created a play-list for you on my YouTube page. So sit back, put the volume at a comfortable level and let's take a musical journey into Dannyland. All is work safe content so feel free to keep in the background and minimize the screen if you want some good tunes in the background. Each of these selections are hand picked by me and I watch these clips, all of them, almost daily.

Here's the link to my playlist. Enjoy. Each video will fade into the next so sit back, relax. Tell me what you think. Do you like what is in my head all of the time?

Love,

Danny

Summer Drinks Recipe Needed, Liza covers Beyonce and Turning UP THE VOLUME!!

Dolls!

I am up too late. I'll hit the sack as soon as I write to you. Where does the phrase "hit the sack" come from? Anyone know?

I believe in receiving signs from God and the universe and I have been receiving a lot of them lately. Here's a BIG ONE I almost missed: A "Glee" episode aired on my birthday and on it, the character Rachel was desperate to find out who her real mother was, and she was convinced her mother had to have been Patti LuPone. Too funny. And OF COURSE this was the episode that aired on MY BIRTHDAY. I take that as a positive sign of encouragement from the universe. I did watch the episode after it aired on my DVR, and loved it, but it wasn't until today when an old friend from college, Jessica Quezada Mullen wrote to me to point out the not-so-coincedental airdate.

Funny, I was only walking to my deli last night to buy green tea before I sat down to do some writing when I asked the universe to give me a at least a hint that a major network sitcom deal for me was in the works. And today I asked again for that hint and then Jessica wrote to me. Thank you Jessica.

Tonight I had some business on the Upper West Side. By business I mean, dinner with my best friend Jeremy. On the train ride in, I ran into none other than Jodi Wasserman. I have blogged about Jodi before. She's a wild woman. I hadn't seen her in months. We picked up like it were yesterday and couldn't get a word in edgewise with each other because we were that excited to see each other and couldn't contain ourselves. We're going to get together on Wednesday and frolic about the city and perhaps make a riveting video for you to see. Jodi and I have great creative chemistry. I take running into her as yet another sign. Didn't I say on my last letter to you a couple of days ago that it has been raining inspiration in my world? That is the best kind of world to live in.

Speaking of containing one's self. It occured to me today that I have been blessed as of late to not be chained to a corporation. I am in a position where I can focus on creating art. And being creative 24/7. This means to me that I don't really have a reason to "contain" myself at all. So I'm not going to anymore. At the core of myself I am an incredibly silly, wacked out, boisterous, campy and intense and I live for the outrageous moments in life. Life and professional working environments have mandated for me to keep a lid on it, but I guess I no longer have to. So I am not. I am going to live my true character now, 24/7 and I don't have to turn down the volume on myself anymore.

So I am going to be Danny full time now. Some people may celebrate it and some people may run away from it because its not their cup of tea. Either way to me is okay. Because paintings also elicit both kinds of reactions.

I saw an interview with Alice Ripley where she says she is now living the role of "Diana" in Next to Normal 24/7 and merely turns down the volume a bit when she is offstage. That resonated with me and I can see in her vlogging that this is true and she is turning out a performance of a lifetime as a result. I want to turn out myself 24/7 and I am actually excited that I have given myself the permission to do so. But I'm going to keep the volume turned up.

Karith Foster made the most refreshing non-alcoholic drink the other day at her apartment. I want to share it with you:

I'm going to call it America's Girlfriend Sunday Tea in honor of the name of her talkshow:

White Iced Tea (I think. This is the base. I'll change if it I am wrong. Karith?)
Crushed mint leaves,
Agave nectar,
sliced ginger (be generous with these)
lemon slice.
Serve in white wine glasses.

Delicious!!! The best part is eating the ginger pieces after. Now does anyone know of a similar recipe that involves Vodka? As much as I love Karith's refreshing drink, alcohol can be a lot of fun. I'm going to see the new Sex and the City movie with some dear friends and I want to bring a large thermos (the size of a pitcher) of a tasty summery alcohol drinks for us to enjoy in the cinema. I don't just want to mix vodka and juice and soda water. Help me with something. Something with mint leaves and ginger sounds fun.

Of course I am going to see Sex and the City 2. Its good fun. I'm not one of those crazy fans but I think all gays in their late 20's/early 30's and women the same age who live in New York and lived in New York during the show's run on HBO have a soft spot in their hearts for these gals. In a sense we grew up from being young adults to adults who are a little older but still young with these girls. HA. But really, the major hook for me was this Liza audio clip that leaked onto YouTube. I just have to see how/where/what and why this works in the film. I believe in Liza though and I know she'll turn it out.

Off to being ME.

Love
Danny.

I will make sure I see Alice Ripley again in N2N before her contract is up. And I had a great birthday! Thank you!

Hello Dolls!

How are ya?

Well, as of May 18, I am officially 32 years old! I'm swell. I spent my thirty-second birthday the best possible way. I napped all day, while my blackberry buzzed with wonderful birthday texts, facebook postings, emails and voicemails. I was truly touched by everyone who reached out to me. Thank you. I spent my birthday night in style. 17 of my favorite people in the world and I went to see "Next to Normal" on Broadway at the Booth Theatre. We didn't get to see Alice Ripley this time as she has been out sick (get better Alice!) but the piece, albeit more amazing with Alice, stands alone and it was so good to experience ART with dear friends on my birthday. Also we got to see Brian D'Arcy James in his opening night of returning to the role of Dan. We will always have this amazing experience together. Thank you Theresa Parsons Sarbeng, Leah Dubie, Amy Hair, Karith Foster, Adam Sank, John Meyers, Raissa Katona-Bennett, Shaynee Rainbolt, Chris Doucette, Ophira Eisenberg, Jonathan Bayliss, Jacquetta Szathmari, Ann Design, Stephanie, Fiona Walsh, Charl and Jenny Rubin for celebrating my day with me. I'll never forget that night. Thank you, thank you!

I'll point out that when we got to the theatre, I broke the news of Alice Ripley's absence to Leah Dubie. Leah (who knows about as much about Broadway and musical theatre in general as I do about sports) divulged to me that she was not at all surprised by this as she had "heard buzz" for some time that Alice would not be there that night. Since when does Leah Dubie have a direct line into Broadway? That makes about as much sense as me having inside scoop on free agents and trading within the NBA. But have you seen that hot Russian billionaire who bought the Nets?

I'm so inspired right now it is rediculous. When it rains it pours and it is POURING!! I've got two major announcements I'll tell you about soon. But what a thrill to be inspired. I can't step out of the apartment to get iced coffee in the AM without getting a new idea for my new... Well... you'll see soon.

I'm headed to Los Angeles again. Hollywood Improv on June 2 for Erin Foley's hit showcase "Gays R Us." It's the LA Gay Pride All Star edition so I am quite thrilled to be on the lineup. Another pilgrimage to Disneyland will be on my agenda for sure as will a trip to Joan Crawford's hand prints.

What else: Mel & El have a hot new show at The Copper Room. These gals have always been terriffic but I feel that they have really hit their stride. So watch out. These women are on a roll. I love women. Alicia Levy, who is not only one of my best friends, but hands down, the best goddamned character actress in town is workshopping a new show at Ars Nova. I can't wait to see it on Tuesday night. Alicia inspires me so much and was my first friend in professional comedy. We go back to Second City together and were founding members of that sketch group Drop Six. It's been many years and I tell you, after all these years we still anchor each other when we need it most. We're going to be working on some cool stuff togehter. I can't wait to collaborate with her again. It's like being let loose in the mall after hours with keys to every store.

What else can I tell you? I'm sick of living in Astoria. I'm ready to come back home to the Upper West Side. Who am I kidding. The UWS is me. Tomorrow I am attending a vision board workshop with my gal Karith Foster and soon to be BFF Haasan Morse. I will manifest getting out of the boroughs and back in to Manhattan on that vision board for sure.

I feel like I've gained a tiny bit of weight. Don't worry. It's coming off. Now that I am thirty-two I have implemented a healthy diet of good nutrition and daily exercise. I'll be svelt again soon. Actually more svelt than ever because I want to get many tatoos as a reward for myself when I can one day bounce a quarter on my stomach for the first time. I am motivated like a motherfucker. That's a great thing. When I am truly motivated, nothing can deter me. Its like trying to distract a pitbull from a raw steak. And I am truly motivated across the board. So take note if you are not one of my supporters: If you thought I was a pain in the ass before...

The tiny bit of weight gain of course brings some great NYC food recommendations. Here's where Danny (that's me) says to eat right now in NYC:

http://www.hummuskitchen.com/ - chicken couscous - and great falaffel that is not overly greasy or dry.
http://www.salumeriarosi.com/ - tuscan tapas. asshole waiter but the food is worth it. major asshole waiter. stiffed him. have only done that one time in my life!
http://www.mrchocolate.com/amsterdamLocation.aspx - not one of those chocolate people, but this place is good.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/doral-donut-shop-inc-astoria - the real nemesis in my life. The best cinammon roll in the world, homemade. The size of a paper plate and $0.95. Enablers for sure. But I am done with you Doral Donuts. Nice knowing you. Thank you for the diabetes. Kidding. Don't have that yet. Hopefully. But if you are looking for diabetes and great donuts, take the trip to Astoria it is worth it.
www.comixny.com - my fave comedy club to work in and to see shows in has the best buffalo boneless chicken tenders you will ever have in your life.
www.juliusbarnyc.com - $5 hamburgers. And worth it.
http://bouchonbakery.com/ - go here. get anything. then spend a lot of money in the time warner center at AX, Cole Hahn, Sephora, Espirit (great mens socks) and try on sunglasses at Solstice. Perfect day.

Who can't wait for Patti LuPone's memoir to come out on Sep 14? That's my Mother's bday. And that is what she is getting. And that's what everyone else will receive for their birthday, wedding, engagements, baby births, Christmas, etc from Sep '10 on.

It's late at night and I have to clean, tone and moisturize my face as it is my fortune. HA.

Love you,
Danny

P.S. - Minda if you are reading this I love you very much and so proud of you! My sister is getting her MFA in Education at the University of New Mexico!!!

Happy Birthday Patti. And, hi there. Remember me? We used to be hot together. Wait. We still are.

Dearest Dolls!

Today is Patti LuPone’s birthday. Patti, I thank you for being my lifelong best friend. Have I met Patti? Not yet. So it may seem a bit over-the-top to call her my best friend. Bonnie Marsh asked me recently, why Patti LuPone? The answer is, since the age of 13 I have loved her as a performer. Today I am 31. And throughout my life’s peaks and valleys there has always been Patti LuPone to inspire me to get through it. My whole world can turn upside down, but I can always count on her. So thank you, Patti LuPone. You have always been a guidepost to me. You make the world a better place just for being you. Happy Birthday.

Gee. It’s been awhile hasn’t it. Over recent months I’ve kept up a busy performance schedule and have worked on some great high-profile projects. I also had to take some time for myself to sort some things out, and I thank you for giving me that time. Today I write to you full of love and gratitude for your friendship. I am truly lucky. And there are so many kick ass things on the way that I can’t wait to share with you!! That stuffs for later!!

.........But today, we gotta lot of catching up to do. I’ll nutshell it all for you, things that have happened, highlights, lowlights, pearls of wisdom, etc - to bring you up to speed:

1. This bitch was on MTV’s Logo network all holiday season! What an experience. I taped the 2009 Year in Review. Even got to tape promo’s and say “Hi, I’m Danny Leary and you’re watching Logo.” What a thrill to receive txts for two months from friends and family all over the country saying they just saw it. Thank you Logo. So much fun!! But wow the camera adds lbs.... Need to lose before going on TV again!

2. This ones for me. And its called “manifesting.” The next time I am on national television over the holidays, I want to be in a white fur coat, in a horsedrawn sleigh going down 5th Avenue, singing “Sleigh Ride” on my way to Radio City Music Hall where my own special, “A Danny Leary Christmas” will be filmed.

3. Zip it when dating someone. At least for a few months. I’ve been fortunate to find and lose “the one” six times recently. Now I have zero credibility with friends in that dept. Why am I so ready to pick out china when I am still fresh out of a nine year relationship?? Learn to be happy with just yourself Danny.

4. Don’t ever let one of these “the ones” make you change your facebook relationship status. I had always left that field empty, even during my tenure in the nine year marriage. Then one of “the ones” made me change mine to “in a relationship.” I thought it was hot that someone wanted to mark their territory so I broke my rule and obliged. 40 congratulatory facebook comments followed. Then the break up and I had to change it back which brought 40 facebook condolences. And they all felt real good.

5. Let’s talk about bronzer. It ain’t just for the ladies. One of “the ones” was a Jersey Shore guido type who insisted we don bronzer before going out on the town. Our going out always ended in a very public, heated argument. Think Joan Collins and Linda Evans from Dynasty. But with testosterone. We may have sounded like drunk idiots but we looked tan in December. So boys, do it. Get yourself some bronzer today.

6. If you are Caucasian, don’t borrow bronzer from your African-American girlfriend. One of my dear BFF’s, Karith Foster was so generous to lend me her brand-new Michael Kors bronzer. I went to the Comix holiday party that night and everyone stopped to ask me if I had just returned from a tropical vacation. I noticed the next day, when tagged on facebook, I was basically in black-face.

7. I made a “return” to my hometown of Portales, NM after four years. I hadn’t been back since my father passed away. It felt so good. I reconnected with my roots and came back to NYC proud, dressed like a cowboy. My friend had David Stone taken me to Bar G Western Wear, where Buzz Goodson, known for making “the meanest crease in town” made me a real mean crease in my Cowboy hat.

8. Dressing like a cowboy (wranglers, belt, rodeo buckle, hat and boots) gets you nods in the airports from pilots. Security personnel are friendly. People seem to trust you more. Women melt at your feet. Everyone stares at your crotch.

9. Space your hometown visits apart .I went home again for Christmas. Big mistake. I was just there only three weeks prior. Too soon. No one gave a shit this time. I did not cause the sensation I caused on my first visit.

10. Got to sing my EVITA songs again on the talk show “Q-Talk.” Wow. I got to do that again! Pinch me.

11. It is possible to have room in your heart for another lover. Took Jeremy Hamilton to “Next to Normal” for his bday ...and I now welcome Alice Ripley to my board of Directors. Patti is still Chairman of the Board. But Wow. Alice Ripley. Alice Ripley. Alice Ripley. Alice Ripley. You make my heart sing. Click on those links, bitches.

12. I’m lucky for some guardian angels in my life. Thank you Jeremy, Theresa, Joshua, Kimberly, Karith, Leah, Adam, Sharon, Tiffany, Donna, Jenny, Ted and Alicia. And Cosmo.

13. Headlined Gay and Lesbian Ski Week in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Woah! So much fun! Erin Foley was booked in the same town and we were put up at the same hotel! I had access to free booze and Erin had access to free buffet tickets and free steamboat cruises so together we lived it up like we were Loni Anderson! Rock stars!

14. Should you find yourself changing planes in Memphis, you can smoke in the airport.

15. Performed in Phoenix, Arizona for the HRC! Opened for Jason Stuart. What a crew out there, those Arizona gay equality pioneers! I was greeted at the airport with a sign that said “Welcome to Phoenix, Patti LuPone.” That’s how I want every city to receive me from now on. Take note of that please if you book me. I’ll put it in my rider, next to my demand for Capri Fig Frangipani scented candles from Voluspa.

16. Go play in Sephora. It is today’s playground for adults. Or at least for adults who have bags under their eyes and can’t afford laser work to be done.

17. Was asked by Brett Kristofferson, one of NYC’s most respected, critically acclaimed and soon to be America’s next major big time theatre lyricist and composer to be a part of a concert, “Keepin’ My Composure, The Songs of Brett Kristofferson” showcasing his work. There were broadway starts, cabaret stars, and ME. I sang an original number. Had the time of my life! Now I have the song that I am going to make my signature song. “Don’t Cry For Me” suits me well, but I need my own. Thank you Brett! I’ll share the youtube clip with you as soon as its out.

18. What’s with all this musical work falling at my feet? Notice that too? Hmmm. More to say about that later. Not yet.

19. Sometimes loving is letting go. And truly moving on.

20. Performed on “Service Not Included” where I had the opportunity to perform the safety demonstration that I used to do years ago as a Flight Attendant for old times sake. Alicia Levy and I made this glorious promo for it. Watch. So funny.

21. I’ve known this for awhile, but want to share: focus on your own path. Seriously. That’s all you have to do. Maria Callas said “how can you have rivals when no one else can do you what you do.” Bingo bitch.

22. Ted said I was the best sexual experience ever. Since I can’t put that accomplishment on a resume I’m putting it here. Sharing is caring.

23. Hosted the Oscars at Comix with Kambri Crews. Sold out crowd.

24. Get a look. A signature look that is all yours. May take you years. But I got mine. Thanks to my visits home. Cowboy boots, city jeans, rodeo buckle, city button down shirt, chest hair, sideburns, swagger, jive talk and bedroom eyes.

25. Flying first class really is first class.

26. Just taped a live performance for Comedy Time. My jokes will soon be avail on your cell phones! I know there has been much demand to have my comedy accessible to you while on the go! Trust me, I know. From one modern gal to another.

27. Remember those who are true. I always do.

Alright – that’s the abridged, or as abridged as I could be version. Let’s get drinks or guacamole or both and agree to move forward. I’m happy. Buckle up, I’m back. Thank you for being here.

Oh and I think this song is very special.

Love
Danny.