Hi Dolls!
I am back from sunny Los Angeles and loving sunny New York!
LA was so much fun. I flew United. I love flying United because they play Gershwin’s thrilling symphony “Rhapsody in Blue” constantly and really, nothing is bad when “Rhapsody in Blue” is playing constantly. The plane could be crashing and as long as they’re still playing “Rhapsody in Blue”… I am down to go down!
Thrilling show at The Hollywood Improv. LA Comedians are so nice and LA CLUBS are nice! The staff bought me a drink after my set simply because they thought “I was a great comedian.” That doesn’t happen in New York. It’s a friendlier scene in LA for sure. But I think there is something to be said for cutting your teeth in New York. ‘Cuz New York is all hard knocks and it makes you strong.
Met Daniel Leary. The other one. What a doll. It felt like meeting your twin that you never knew existed until one day they needed your kidney. We shared a cigarette and some one-on-one convo after the show and hit it off and vowed to do a creative project together. I am thinking a revival of Sideshow. Or Debbie Does Dallas.
Incidentally that cigarette with Daniel was the last cigarette I had. That’s right. This Danny is now a non-smoking mother fucker. I’d been having headaches and they were so bad, at one point I found myself in tense negotiations with God. Agreeing to substitute donuts for real food and regular coke for real water. And to also… stop smoking.. if he’d take away the damn headaches! You know when you’re in legal talks with God, things are not good. Fast forward to one week later (today) and…. Smoke free, eating right, hydrated and I am already experiencing BOUNDLESS ENERGY!! Stay tuned for an announcement that I will be starring in a remake of Jane Fonda’s debut workout and will be releasing it on DVD!
Wednesday met up with Ann Design for drinks. I’ve blogged about her before on here. Ann is such a character and a real lush. She looks like “Blondie” from the comic strip. Dimples and big, blue innocent eyes. She’s a throwback to the 1950’s. After 12 vodka’s we found ourselves at Julius Bar having hamburgers at midnight. She sent a facebook message to a mutual friend and comedian Erin Foley in LA. Now here is why I love Ann. She writes…
“Erin…. With Danny Leary and we are…..”
Now she’s fumbling with what to say… and I suggested she say “we are having a GAS!” Without even flinching says “oh good one!” and types to Erin:
“With Danny Leary AND WE ARE HAVING A GAS!”
As if that expression is widely used vernacular. Anyone else would have objected to typing that, but not Ann. To Ann, that expression made sense. And that is why she is one badass gal.
Thursday met up with a wonderful comedian/actress friend of mine for dinner. She just had a major show and is feeling the post performance blues. She’s upset because Hollywood still hasn’t called and its now three days after her big show. We all get like this and we all need good friends to talk us out of the tree. Lord knows she has done this for me every other day for the past decade. I reminded her of Kathy Griffin who didn’t “break break’ (meaning really make it big) until she was 40. Kathy had been going at it since she was 20. How do I know all this about Kathy Griffin? Oh because I stole her book.
Don’t judge me. Here’s what happened. I had a 6 AM flight from LAX to JFK. In the cab to the airport, while negotiating my health with God, he told me to read Kathy Griffin’s book. So off I went roaming the airport to BUY her book. Now the only thing open at 6 AM in LAX were the Hudson Booksellers. Anyone who travels will tell you they are the worst book chain. Zero selection. Well, if you like memoirs from the likes of Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and blah blah then that’s your store. They didn’t have Kathy Griffin’s book. The only other bookstore in the terminal was closed…. OR SO I THOUGHT…
I saw another homosexual male in his thirties come out of that bookstore. The gate was down but apparently the glass door was unlocked. So I went in just as he was leaving. He said to me “no one is in there…..” and I said “but YOU were just in there….” So I went in there. Saw a stack of Kathy Griffin books. Heard voices in the stock room. Picked up one of Kathy’s books. Put it in my bag. Walked to the back of the store and shouted “hello?????” They (whoever they may be) shouted back “we’re not open for another hour….” And I said “so I can’t BUY something right now???” and they said “NOOOOOO…..” – So I left with the book. I TRIED. I’m sorry Kathy G if you are reading this. I TRIED!
Well it’s a great book in case you are all wondering, I can see why I was told to read it during devine intervention and I highly recommend it. But pay for it. Now, I am not ashamed and stand by my illegal decision to steal her book as it was a special circumstance. But artists really should be compensated. So I will mail Kathy a twenty at some point soon in 2010.
Friday had a party at the 79th Street Boat Basin down by the river. Friends and drinking make a delightful Friday. Jenny Rubin came and 10 margaritas later she had a show to get to. It was my friend Paul Case's show. Jenny and I were broke and when we discovered I was out of money and that they would not accept her PathMark Advantage Card (a local NYC grocery store frequent shoppers discount card) we knew we needed a plan. We texted Paul and advised him to keep a card open for us so we could continue to eat and drink on his dime when we got to the club. Well wouldn’t you know it, Paul said no. Selfish sonofabitch. It was a train wreck of a night. I did a set. I wasn’t scheduled to. Had I been scheduled to appear I never would have been drinking. I don’t like to drink before I perform. But this was one of those nights where life felt like a circus. Leah Dubie performed. At her request I interpreted her stand-up set in ASL (sign language) for the many (zero) deaf audience members in attendance. I don’t really know sign language or Spanish but I can fake both languages very well.
Saturday was Amy Hair’s bday party. She had a karaoke party. Of course I behaved badly and bit one of her friends. But at least they were treated to my thrilling rendition of “Sister Christian.”
Two shows tonight. Gotta DVR those TONY’s.
Love,
I am back from sunny Los Angeles and loving sunny New York!
LA was so much fun. I flew United. I love flying United because they play Gershwin’s thrilling symphony “Rhapsody in Blue” constantly and really, nothing is bad when “Rhapsody in Blue” is playing constantly. The plane could be crashing and as long as they’re still playing “Rhapsody in Blue”… I am down to go down!
Thrilling show at The Hollywood Improv. LA Comedians are so nice and LA CLUBS are nice! The staff bought me a drink after my set simply because they thought “I was a great comedian.” That doesn’t happen in New York. It’s a friendlier scene in LA for sure. But I think there is something to be said for cutting your teeth in New York. ‘Cuz New York is all hard knocks and it makes you strong.
Met Daniel Leary. The other one. What a doll. It felt like meeting your twin that you never knew existed until one day they needed your kidney. We shared a cigarette and some one-on-one convo after the show and hit it off and vowed to do a creative project together. I am thinking a revival of Sideshow. Or Debbie Does Dallas.
Incidentally that cigarette with Daniel was the last cigarette I had. That’s right. This Danny is now a non-smoking mother fucker. I’d been having headaches and they were so bad, at one point I found myself in tense negotiations with God. Agreeing to substitute donuts for real food and regular coke for real water. And to also… stop smoking.. if he’d take away the damn headaches! You know when you’re in legal talks with God, things are not good. Fast forward to one week later (today) and…. Smoke free, eating right, hydrated and I am already experiencing BOUNDLESS ENERGY!! Stay tuned for an announcement that I will be starring in a remake of Jane Fonda’s debut workout and will be releasing it on DVD!
Wednesday met up with Ann Design for drinks. I’ve blogged about her before on here. Ann is such a character and a real lush. She looks like “Blondie” from the comic strip. Dimples and big, blue innocent eyes. She’s a throwback to the 1950’s. After 12 vodka’s we found ourselves at Julius Bar having hamburgers at midnight. She sent a facebook message to a mutual friend and comedian Erin Foley in LA. Now here is why I love Ann. She writes…
“Erin…. With Danny Leary and we are…..”
Now she’s fumbling with what to say… and I suggested she say “we are having a GAS!” Without even flinching says “oh good one!” and types to Erin:
“With Danny Leary AND WE ARE HAVING A GAS!”
As if that expression is widely used vernacular. Anyone else would have objected to typing that, but not Ann. To Ann, that expression made sense. And that is why she is one badass gal.
Thursday met up with a wonderful comedian/actress friend of mine for dinner. She just had a major show and is feeling the post performance blues. She’s upset because Hollywood still hasn’t called and its now three days after her big show. We all get like this and we all need good friends to talk us out of the tree. Lord knows she has done this for me every other day for the past decade. I reminded her of Kathy Griffin who didn’t “break break’ (meaning really make it big) until she was 40. Kathy had been going at it since she was 20. How do I know all this about Kathy Griffin? Oh because I stole her book.
Don’t judge me. Here’s what happened. I had a 6 AM flight from LAX to JFK. In the cab to the airport, while negotiating my health with God, he told me to read Kathy Griffin’s book. So off I went roaming the airport to BUY her book. Now the only thing open at 6 AM in LAX were the Hudson Booksellers. Anyone who travels will tell you they are the worst book chain. Zero selection. Well, if you like memoirs from the likes of Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and blah blah then that’s your store. They didn’t have Kathy Griffin’s book. The only other bookstore in the terminal was closed…. OR SO I THOUGHT…
I saw another homosexual male in his thirties come out of that bookstore. The gate was down but apparently the glass door was unlocked. So I went in just as he was leaving. He said to me “no one is in there…..” and I said “but YOU were just in there….” So I went in there. Saw a stack of Kathy Griffin books. Heard voices in the stock room. Picked up one of Kathy’s books. Put it in my bag. Walked to the back of the store and shouted “hello?????” They (whoever they may be) shouted back “we’re not open for another hour….” And I said “so I can’t BUY something right now???” and they said “NOOOOOO…..” – So I left with the book. I TRIED. I’m sorry Kathy G if you are reading this. I TRIED!
Well it’s a great book in case you are all wondering, I can see why I was told to read it during devine intervention and I highly recommend it. But pay for it. Now, I am not ashamed and stand by my illegal decision to steal her book as it was a special circumstance. But artists really should be compensated. So I will mail Kathy a twenty at some point soon in 2010.
Friday had a party at the 79th Street Boat Basin down by the river. Friends and drinking make a delightful Friday. Jenny Rubin came and 10 margaritas later she had a show to get to. It was my friend Paul Case's show. Jenny and I were broke and when we discovered I was out of money and that they would not accept her PathMark Advantage Card (a local NYC grocery store frequent shoppers discount card) we knew we needed a plan. We texted Paul and advised him to keep a card open for us so we could continue to eat and drink on his dime when we got to the club. Well wouldn’t you know it, Paul said no. Selfish sonofabitch. It was a train wreck of a night. I did a set. I wasn’t scheduled to. Had I been scheduled to appear I never would have been drinking. I don’t like to drink before I perform. But this was one of those nights where life felt like a circus. Leah Dubie performed. At her request I interpreted her stand-up set in ASL (sign language) for the many (zero) deaf audience members in attendance. I don’t really know sign language or Spanish but I can fake both languages very well.
Saturday was Amy Hair’s bday party. She had a karaoke party. Of course I behaved badly and bit one of her friends. But at least they were treated to my thrilling rendition of “Sister Christian.”
Two shows tonight. Gotta DVR those TONY’s.
Love,
Danny
you bit me, yes. you are an ANIMAL. Let's hang again soon.
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