Dearest Dolls!
Today is Patti LuPone’s birthday. Patti, I thank you for being my lifelong best friend. Have I met Patti? Not yet. So it may seem a bit over-the-top to call her my best friend. Bonnie Marsh asked me recently, why Patti LuPone? The answer is, since the age of 13 I have loved her as a performer. Today I am 31. And throughout my life’s peaks and valleys there has always been Patti LuPone to inspire me to get through it. My whole world can turn upside down, but I can always count on her. So thank you, Patti LuPone. You have always been a guidepost to me. You make the world a better place just for being you. Happy Birthday.
Gee. It’s been awhile hasn’t it. Over recent months I’ve kept up a busy performance schedule and have worked on some great high-profile projects. I also had to take some time for myself to sort some things out, and I thank you for giving me that time. Today I write to you full of love and gratitude for your friendship. I am truly lucky. And there are so many kick ass things on the way that I can’t wait to share with you!! That stuffs for later!!
.........But today, we gotta lot of catching up to do. I’ll nutshell it all for you, things that have happened, highlights, lowlights, pearls of wisdom, etc - to bring you up to speed:
1. This bitch was on MTV’s Logo network all holiday season! What an experience. I taped the 2009 Year in Review. Even got to tape promo’s and say “Hi, I’m Danny Leary and you’re watching Logo.” What a thrill to receive txts for two months from friends and family all over the country saying they just saw it. Thank you Logo. So much fun!! But wow the camera adds lbs.... Need to lose before going on TV again!
Today is Patti LuPone’s birthday. Patti, I thank you for being my lifelong best friend. Have I met Patti? Not yet. So it may seem a bit over-the-top to call her my best friend. Bonnie Marsh asked me recently, why Patti LuPone? The answer is, since the age of 13 I have loved her as a performer. Today I am 31. And throughout my life’s peaks and valleys there has always been Patti LuPone to inspire me to get through it. My whole world can turn upside down, but I can always count on her. So thank you, Patti LuPone. You have always been a guidepost to me. You make the world a better place just for being you. Happy Birthday.
Gee. It’s been awhile hasn’t it. Over recent months I’ve kept up a busy performance schedule and have worked on some great high-profile projects. I also had to take some time for myself to sort some things out, and I thank you for giving me that time. Today I write to you full of love and gratitude for your friendship. I am truly lucky. And there are so many kick ass things on the way that I can’t wait to share with you!! That stuffs for later!!
.........But today, we gotta lot of catching up to do. I’ll nutshell it all for you, things that have happened, highlights, lowlights, pearls of wisdom, etc - to bring you up to speed:
1. This bitch was on MTV’s Logo network all holiday season! What an experience. I taped the 2009 Year in Review. Even got to tape promo’s and say “Hi, I’m Danny Leary and you’re watching Logo.” What a thrill to receive txts for two months from friends and family all over the country saying they just saw it. Thank you Logo. So much fun!! But wow the camera adds lbs.... Need to lose before going on TV again!
2. This ones for me. And its called “manifesting.” The next time I am on national television over the holidays, I want to be in a white fur coat, in a horsedrawn sleigh going down 5th Avenue, singing “Sleigh Ride” on my way to Radio City Music Hall where my own special, “A Danny Leary Christmas” will be filmed.
3. Zip it when dating someone. At least for a few months. I’ve been fortunate to find and lose “the one” six times recently. Now I have zero credibility with friends in that dept. Why am I so ready to pick out china when I am still fresh out of a nine year relationship?? Learn to be happy with just yourself Danny.
4. Don’t ever let one of these “the ones” make you change your facebook relationship status. I had always left that field empty, even during my tenure in the nine year marriage. Then one of “the ones” made me change mine to “in a relationship.” I thought it was hot that someone wanted to mark their territory so I broke my rule and obliged. 40 congratulatory facebook comments followed. Then the break up and I had to change it back which brought 40 facebook condolences. And they all felt real good.
5. Let’s talk about bronzer. It ain’t just for the ladies. One of “the ones” was a Jersey Shore guido type who insisted we don bronzer before going out on the town. Our going out always ended in a very public, heated argument. Think Joan Collins and Linda Evans from Dynasty. But with testosterone. We may have sounded like drunk idiots but we looked tan in December. So boys, do it. Get yourself some bronzer today.
6. If you are Caucasian, don’t borrow bronzer from your African-American girlfriend. One of my dear BFF’s, Karith Foster was so generous to lend me her brand-new Michael Kors bronzer. I went to the Comix holiday party that night and everyone stopped to ask me if I had just returned from a tropical vacation. I noticed the next day, when tagged on facebook, I was basically in black-face.
7. I made a “return” to my hometown of Portales, NM after four years. I hadn’t been back since my father passed away. It felt so good. I reconnected with my roots and came back to NYC proud, dressed like a cowboy. My friend had David Stone taken me to Bar G Western Wear, where Buzz Goodson, known for making “the meanest crease in town” made me a real mean crease in my Cowboy hat.
8. Dressing like a cowboy (wranglers, belt, rodeo buckle, hat and boots) gets you nods in the airports from pilots. Security personnel are friendly. People seem to trust you more. Women melt at your feet. Everyone stares at your crotch.
9. Space your hometown visits apart .I went home again for Christmas. Big mistake. I was just there only three weeks prior. Too soon. No one gave a shit this time. I did not cause the sensation I caused on my first visit.
10. Got to sing my EVITA songs again on the talk show “Q-Talk.” Wow. I got to do that again! Pinch me.
11. It is possible to have room in your heart for another lover. Took Jeremy Hamilton to “Next to Normal” for his bday ...and I now welcome Alice Ripley to my board of Directors. Patti is still Chairman of the Board. But Wow. Alice Ripley. Alice Ripley. Alice Ripley. Alice Ripley. You make my heart sing. Click on those links, bitches.
12. I’m lucky for some guardian angels in my life. Thank you Jeremy, Theresa, Joshua, Kimberly, Karith, Leah, Adam, Sharon, Tiffany, Donna, Jenny, Ted and Alicia. And Cosmo.
13. Headlined Gay and Lesbian Ski Week in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Woah! So much fun! Erin Foley was booked in the same town and we were put up at the same hotel! I had access to free booze and Erin had access to free buffet tickets and free steamboat cruises so together we lived it up like we were Loni Anderson! Rock stars!
14. Should you find yourself changing planes in Memphis, you can smoke in the airport.
15. Performed in Phoenix, Arizona for the HRC! Opened for Jason Stuart. What a crew out there, those Arizona gay equality pioneers! I was greeted at the airport with a sign that said “Welcome to Phoenix, Patti LuPone.” That’s how I want every city to receive me from now on. Take note of that please if you book me. I’ll put it in my rider, next to my demand for Capri Fig Frangipani scented candles from Voluspa.
16. Go play in Sephora. It is today’s playground for adults. Or at least for adults who have bags under their eyes and can’t afford laser work to be done.
17. Was asked by Brett Kristofferson, one of NYC’s most respected, critically acclaimed and soon to be America’s next major big time theatre lyricist and composer to be a part of a concert, “Keepin’ My Composure, The Songs of Brett Kristofferson” showcasing his work. There were broadway starts, cabaret stars, and ME. I sang an original number. Had the time of my life! Now I have the song that I am going to make my signature song. “Don’t Cry For Me” suits me well, but I need my own. Thank you Brett! I’ll share the youtube clip with you as soon as its out.
18. What’s with all this musical work falling at my feet? Notice that too? Hmmm. More to say about that later. Not yet.
19. Sometimes loving is letting go. And truly moving on.
20. Performed on “Service Not Included” where I had the opportunity to perform the safety demonstration that I used to do years ago as a Flight Attendant for old times sake. Alicia Levy and I made this glorious promo for it. Watch. So funny.
21. I’ve known this for awhile, but want to share: focus on your own path. Seriously. That’s all you have to do. Maria Callas said “how can you have rivals when no one else can do you what you do.” Bingo bitch.
22. Ted said I was the best sexual experience ever. Since I can’t put that accomplishment on a resume I’m putting it here. Sharing is caring.
23. Hosted the Oscars at Comix with Kambri Crews. Sold out crowd.
24. Get a look. A signature look that is all yours. May take you years. But I got mine. Thanks to my visits home. Cowboy boots, city jeans, rodeo buckle, city button down shirt, chest hair, sideburns, swagger, jive talk and bedroom eyes.
25. Flying first class really is first class.
26. Just taped a live performance for Comedy Time. My jokes will soon be avail on your cell phones! I know there has been much demand to have my comedy accessible to you while on the go! Trust me, I know. From one modern gal to another.
27. Remember those who are true. I always do.
Alright – that’s the abridged, or as abridged as I could be version. Let’s get drinks or guacamole or both and agree to move forward. I’m happy. Buckle up, I’m back. Thank you for being here.
Alright – that’s the abridged, or as abridged as I could be version. Let’s get drinks or guacamole or both and agree to move forward. I’m happy. Buckle up, I’m back. Thank you for being here.
