I've been practicing my "dream role" diligently and I have to say I am so excited to have my turn at the role of EVITA. It is a tribute performance to Patti LuPone who has been a life inspiration for me since the age of 13. I hope you can make it. I want to remind you that I am not a singer. I am a comedian. But I am giving this performance my 110% and you outta know what you're gonna get in me: just a little touch of LuPone quality!
Well its almost 2AM. I've got to be up in four hours to get ready to go to Atlantic City to promote "Together" which is an official selection at The Down Beach Film Festival. I gotta tell you. I did this project two years ago and boy does it have legs! I've been seen as a Joan Crawford cater/waiter from Portland to Barcelona to Florida to Cannes and even here at Tribeca in my own backyard. It will be good to see the old gang again. I've got a long list of new vehicles for me for that Joe Rosario. LuPone's memoir would be a great biopic, maybe Mackenzie Phillips. HA
Why am I up so late when I have to get up early? Two words: Drew Barrymore. That gal is having a banner year! First her riveting performance in the HBO movie Grey Gardens, now her directorial debut, which I saw tonight, Whip It. Which was so much fun. How could I go to bed after that? But truly, kudos to Drew who is clearly manifesting it. Going for it. I'm sure she reads this blog regularly and will get such a kick out of my support.
Speaking of reading this blog. My website is getting tons of hits from JaneFonda.com. I know that seems like a natural progression when web surfing to go to Jane's page then see what Danny Leary is up to. But there is a solid explanation behind this. Jane blogged about finally meeting Patti LuPone. She saw her perform in concert with Mandy Patinkin in Los Angeles and was so knocked out she had to take her to dinner after. Carrie Fisher was with them. Jane said they got along famously and agreed to go to Carrie Fisher's opening night of her one woman show in New York. Well I wrote to Jane and asked her if they were sticking to the plans and getting together. Jane never wrote back. But she did blog about going to Carrie's opening night and did not mention Patti LuPone. I checked Patti's website and she was performing that night in Westchester. I don't know why I am telling you all of this. I just think it is all kind of fascinating. I'd like to hang out with Jane and Carrie and Patti.
Speaking of hanging. I got together with Ann Design and Fiona Walsh last night. I'm pictured with them last night above. Both hilarious comedians. Both Irish comedians. Both real drinkers. Met them at The Galway Hooker in the West Village. Its a classy Irish pub. There was a pack of about 15 of us Irish. Ann's best friend is a real stunning woman named Lorraine. Lorraine is a no-nonsense kind of gal and always knows the score. When she learned of Jeremy and I splitting up last year she was furious. She had some wisdom for me and approached me, in a different Irish pub much like the one last night, and lowered her eyes at me and said "you. me. riverside park. bench. bring a pack of cigarettes. we've got a lot to discuss." I never met her in Riverside Park for that talk. And last night was the first night I had seen her since then. She gave me that look again at first sight from across the bar and made a b-line for me. This time I couldn't get away. I was already backed against the wall. Literally. Her poor husband I thought to myself. She came up to me an inch from my face and said "you look dashing." I said "you look stunning." She said "imagine what our kids would look like." And I actually did. And they would have been some real lookers I think.
As the evening went on it turned into a blur. I stepped outside to take a phone call from Joe Rosario. He told me he needed me in Atlantic City for the film and he told me that I am out of my tree and that Patti LuPone is going to have me killed. I met a really pretty Asian gal outside who had somehow joined up with the wild pack of Irish inside. She had my blackberry at one point and added me as her friend on facebook. I took that as a sign that it was time to go home. I was upset with myself for drinking so much because I had an Evita rehearsal the next day and I need to keep my pipes in good shape since I am tackling not only Evita but Patti LuPone. I hadn't had dinner so I stopped into a diner. I had a cheese omlette. The waiter brought me my check after without bothering to ask me if I wanted anything else. I didn't want anything else. But I was offended that he had assumed. So I ordered a chocolate milkshake just to teach him a lesson. I slurped it slowly, loudly and defiantly and it tasted like sweet, sweet victory. I sure showed him!
This morning I looked at my cell phone and found wonderful surprises. I texted "tacos" to Sue Funke. She responded "best text ever." I then replied (and this is unedited and uncensored): Danny: cruekklq devuykl Sue: You just texted cruekklq devuykl Danny: That meabs cruella devill stupid!! Sue: Oh, of course, how coud I have been so ignorant. Danny: come to michaels where I am dining alone without company Sue: Why are you so far away? Danny: I am eating alone w herpes Sue: You are never alone when you have herpes Couple things: I don't have herpes. And why did I think "cruella devill" was a logical response. One can never know. Unfortunately this would not be the only surprise waiting for me. My new Lucy Liu asian friend that I met with my wild pack of Irish friends wrote on my facebook wall "you put your drinks on my tab and left you asshole! Not cool!" Wow. Indeed not cool. But.... doesn't sound like me at all, even in my drunkest of states that does not sound like me. Cruella Devil? Yes. Fake herpes announcements? Yes. Stand-offs with a tired fiftysomething immigrant waiter working the graveyard shift serving drunks? Absolutely. Shmuck that leaves others stuck with his tab? FUCK NO. I called Ann right away just to make sure. Ann told me that she saw me pay my tab with her own eyes and that the girl was a real wack job and was just trying to get a free tab. Told 'ya.
EVITA rehearsal went swell. We found the right keys for the songs. I think Shaynee and Terese have zero confidence in my ability to pull this thing off. I admit this is very ambitious and almost an arrogant undertaking and I understand their fears. But they don't know me. I'll show them. They are marvelous vocal coaches and know what they are doing and I couldn't get in better hands. I'm grateful to them for their free time to work with me. Take my determination and mix it up with their top of the line skill set and we got a baby LuPone.
And besides, you gotta raise the bar and stick your neck out in life. So f*ck it.
I gotta go to bed dolls. I'm going to Atlantic City in the morning. Ciao.
Where do I begin? I’ll begin with today. Woke up at 8 AM for an 8:30 meeting with fellow comedian Sue Funke. We’re working on a project together. Sue is a real mensch. She’s also my nosy neighbor and guaranteed to bust me every time I am making the walk of shame home. She’s got an apartment with a balcony that literally faces the subway so she is always aware of my comings and goings. One time I had an overnight guest and the next morning we both left on the train together to go our separate post one night stand ways. I had the horrifying premonition that Ms. Funke would bust me on the way to the train as she usually takes the train at that time in the morning. So I went to the opposite end of the subway platform, sure I’d avoid her and avoid shame. Wouldn’t you know it, Sue thought she’d let her hair down and mix it up that morning and also went to the opposite end of the platform and got in the same car. She not only chatted up my one night stand, and with all the cheeriness of Today Show era Katie Couric, but they ended up transferring trains together! Sue would email me later that day telling me how nice he was and that she really believed in his music career. I didn’t even know all of that information. But that is Sue for you. You can never get one past her. There is a degree in comfort in having a good friend / fellow comedian / nosy neighbor in your life. They can keep tabs on you.
So Sue and I had our meeting this morning on the balcony with bagels and coffee. I bought the coffee from the Italian bakery on the corner. After the meeting I bought another iced coffee. I needed another. I had stayed up until 3AM reading Mackenzie Phillips new memoir. Let me tell you it is a real page turner. I can’t put it down. I am looking forward to finishing her book because I am hoping and waiting for a good and positive resolution to all the pain she has suffered, and also so that I can return to normal sleeping patterns! At the bakery for iced coffee #2, I thought I’d make small talk with the gal behind the counter. I said “second of the morning!” with a wink and a renegade smile. I guess she didn’t hear me correctly because she replied very enthusiastically “Oh! Top of the Morning to you too!” – Now I love being of Irish descent. I find it to be very sexy. But I am not so Irish as to run around town spouting cliché Irish things like that. I thought of correcting her but that would have made the whole situation more awkward so I left it.
Spoke to my sister Minda this morning. Minda is a school teacher in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. It had been awhile and I was revved up to talk to her. So I during our conversation I went back to the bakery for iced coffee #3. I was greeted with a “Top of the Morning to ya! You want a third coffee?” I nodded. Lots of whispers as to who is the crazy Irish guy wanting so much coffee. It takes a lot to feel like an oddball in New York City. I feel like it’s a testament to my star quality!
Speaking of star quality. I’ll be playing Patti LuPone as Evita in “Dream Role” at the 92Y in Tribeca. I’ll talk about this later. So get rest, Buenos Aires!
I have been so tired since Los Angeles. Oh yeah LA. Got in to LA on Wednesday. Saw my mother for the first time in forever! She was crying she was so happy. I wanted to cry too but I held back because I didn’t want to go to sobbing town. My aunt Patsy drove us from LAX to our hotel in West Hollywood. My mother and I checked into our rooms and later that night we went out to eat with Terese Genecco. My Mom and Terese hit it off and we shared four pitchers of margaritas between us. After making plans to all travel to Greece together and for my Mom to run away and play the tambourine in Terese’s band it was time to call it a night. Terese and I went to my Mom’s balcony to enjoy a cigarette (my choice of poison) and for Terese to enjoy a clove cigarette (her choice of poison.) When we were done with our poisons we found my mother in her nightgown in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin. She had a huge grin and said “goodnight guys.” We took that as a hint she was ready for us to leave and call it a night. Terese and I went up to her room and split a bottle of champagne. I could talk to Terese for hours and I did.
The next morning I had to buy a belt. I also had to say hello to Joan Crawford. So I walked 5 miles from the hotel to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre to say hello to Joan and to buy a belt across the street at H&M. Came home still feeling awfully hungover. My friend Sharon flew in from Georgia to see my show. We interned together at Disneyland 12 years ago. There were about 10 others of us all coming together for my shows and to return to Disneyland. Sharon stayed in my room with me in West Hollywood. I was deliriously tired when I saw her. All I could do was sing Dolly Parton’s song “Gravity and Jesus” to her. Except I didn’t know the full song. Just the “gravity and jesus” part.
Time for the first show. We all got to the M Bar in a caravan. I was reunited with my best friends Michelle Tomlinson, Michele Graham and Patrick Julian. We all fell in love back in college. Oh and I got to see Landall Goolsby, Larry Tadlock and David Jung, a talented actor and comedian that I immediately loved when we trained together at Second City. After the M Bar and after I put my mother to bed I joined Michelle, Michele and Patrick at the opening night industry party at Shriekfest LA. Michelle Tomlinson is a film actress and has made a few horror films and has quite the fan base. It was surreal to see her signing autographs. After the after party we went to Patrick’s apartment in West Hollywood. He lives in a great 60’s modern complex with a pool in the courtyard like Melrose Place. He also has coffee table that belonged to Richard Harris. We all drank wine and posed for photos around that table. I smoked Michelle’s electronic cigarette and decided that it was so nifty I’d buy one myself when I returned to New York so I can stop smoking. I’ll get to that next week. The girls needed to sober up before the drive home so we all went to a Thai restaurant on Sunset Blvd that had a kitschy rock and roll décor.
My mother wanted to go to Hollywood the next morning. I was so tired but I wanted to maximize the time with my mother. We went with my cousin Gilbert who flew in from Dallas. I got to say hello to Joan again. I would have taken a picture but it didn’t feel right. I’m closer to her than the other tourists so I decided I’d go see her grave in upstate New York with my friend Joe Rosario who directed Together and ultimately brought Joan and I together. Mom, Gilbert and I toured Grauman’s Chinese then had a drink at The Roosevelt Hotel.
Friday’s show brought out the whole Disney gang, my gigantic Mexican family, Adam Burnworth from Portales, NM, Laura Maninno and more. It was a great show and I was happy to perform for my mother. After the show, my reunited Disney’s and I went to I-Hop. I was so relieved the shows were over so I was about 10 vodkas in. I serenaded my friends with more “gravity and jesus.”
That's Jenna Esposito, myself and Leah Dubie pictured here after performing at The M Bar in Hollywood.
Next morning my mother and I had our goodbyes. It was the first time in the whole time we were there that we got to be alone. We shared and cried and connected. I’m going to see her for a week in November. I’m excited to go back to my hometown and connect with my roots again. It’s been about three years since I have been home. After saying “see ya later” to my Mommie, Sharon and I drove to Orange County to meet the rest of the Disney’s at Mike Wilkie’s grave. He was one of us and recently passed away. Too tragic to go into. He was a stand-up guy. A wonderful friend and husband and father and too young. This was a very emotional day on so many levels.
We returned to the scene of the crime, Disneyland. Together again. I was in a very silly mood. I think it was a combination of exhaustion and feeling so many emotions in the past few days. The trip was fast, furious and an episode of “this is your life.” I saw so many loved ones in such a brief period it was a bit overwhelming. But truth be said my soul was craving it. My silliness prompted me to ask every Disney employee if Jane Fonda was in the park.
We got back that night to the hotel at 1 AM. Sharon had an early flight. I would take the rental car with her back to LAX and wait a few hours for my flight. I told her $5 gas is enough to get us to LAX. Well we got lost several times and ran out of gas on the freeway. Sharon was bummed because she would miss picnic day with her husband in Savannah. It’s one of her favorite events and she was looking forward to it. I felt like it was my fault for overestimating the car’s fuel efficiency. No gravity. No Jesus. The AAA man filled the car up. Off we were again with gravity and Jesus. Sharon and I saw Gwen Stefani in the airport and sat at a shoe shine booth with our Starbucks just to watch Gwen being beautiful. Her body guard didn’t like us. Said goodbye to Sharon and bought Mackenzie’s book and have been up reading it ever since.
I’m happy to be home. I got so much more to say about some other things, there is a lot of GOOD going on right now and gravity and Jesus. But this entry is long enough and I need to pee. And smoke a non-electronic cigarette. I’ll smoke the electronic one starting next week. Maybe.
